i've written here many times before, but i decided it was a better idea to start over fresh. actually, i'm going to start at the middle of the story, and not at the beginning.
***
so there i was, driving. and driving. and driving. this was the third time i've made this trip in the last month. sometimes i think it would be a little easier to live closer to my parents, but for all the hassle of buying a few tankfuls of gas and putting another weekend's plans off by a week, i still do enjoy a good, long, late-night road trip. there are three places that i think best: the shower, church, and driving alone late at night. i guess that's where my mind really begins to wander uninhibited.
anyhow, there i was, driving. and driving. and driving. it was the third of july (yesterday, if you're reading this today). the whole way back, i would sporadically see fireworks shooting off on either side of me, and you know what's frustrating? these fireworks were ostensibly shooting into the air to commemorate independence day, and here i am, driving 80mph in the wrong direction, leaving independence far behind me. it's kind of like an ex-con voluntarily returning to his cell, as fast as he humanly can, yet that's exactly what i'm doing. on this particular night, i was mulling over what exactly it is that i want when i return back to my home in minneapolis. because of some unfortunate and uncontrollable circumstances, the source of a good deal of my personal unrest comes from the fact that i live where i live and i cannot leave until the end of august.
so. so much for independence. i'm back in minneapolis, i'm back in my room, and i'm literally twitching. i need an excuse to leave, and i ran out of those weeks ago. there's only so much grocery shopping a man can do. and then there's only so much i could buy at target or ikea or pottery barn or pier 1 or any place like that. and i really never needed to go to home depot in the first place. retail therapy is no longer doing the magic it used to do for me. plus, the baristas at spyhouse are probably wondering why i can't do something more interesting with the rest of my nights, and why i keep ordering their ginger ale. i guess that part will have to remain a mystery.
since i've really run out of excuses to go somewhere, i decided to look for a place for the next time i move (this is what i usually do so i know where i will move when i leave my current residence, but i had to improvise a little since that part was more or less figured out already). there's kind of a peculiar difference this time, though. while i was at my parents' house this weekend, the topic of home ownership came up. i used to laugh at that, because i got a degree in theatre. most of the last few years, i would have considered being able to afford living in an apartment without a roommate to be a paramount financial achievement. things didn't work out as planned, though, and it turns out i do have enough dispensable income to spend the next few months saving for a home and then buying one by next year or so. this is partially electrifying and partially depressing. on one hand, i can't wait to move into a house and make it my home. perhaps i could evade my yearly june-induced emo spell by having a home in which i feel at home. and perhaps i'll find that i need to buy a new roof. it's always 50-50.
***
i'll continue this next time, because i'm immeasurably sick of sitting in this chair. getting away from the computer is probably my first step on the road to happiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment