Sighs. No Firesomething On This Box Yet.

I can tell I'm going to have a hard time getting to sleep tonight. Tomorrow I have my Q3/Q4 performance review. At the end of the day, no less. Why am I concerned about this? Technically, I'm not. I've actually probably exceeded expectations in just about every way (don't worry, I think they were pretty low to begin with. I didn't list 'managing expectations' in my 'things I'm really good at' section on OKCupid for no reason). I've done good work, I'm still doing good work, and I've really pushed for making the project I'm working on right now happen. Obviously it wasn't all me, but I did play a pretty key role in landing this project, and it's worth a lot of money to the company. So, these are all good things. But... there's still always that nagging, lingering fear that I'm going to be fired or at least told that if my work doesn't improve in the next month or two I can count on being unemployed. I cannot explain the source of this irrational fear. It makes absolutely NO sense.

ANYWAY. There have to be better things to write about. In fact, I know there are. I have a lot of thoughts! I think all the time! Why is nothing getting recorded? I keep making resolutions. Not in May this time around, fortunately. But is there a limit? I'm already "trying" to get to work earlier and keep up my timesheet and spend less money on stuff I don't need, especially fast food. I suppose there's still plenty of room left for playing more trumpet, learning new things on the guitar, and of course writing the occasional blog post here.

I'm rearranging. That's a start. Perhaps tomorrow I can write about that. Tonight, however, I need to try that sleeping thing. Heavy emphasis on TRY because I highly doubt I'm going to be successful for the first few hours.