Junglecricket

This has been a tough week. I've been thinking much more than I should be, which generally leads to sleepless nights and long workdays. This week has certainly not been an exception. My life feels like it's stuck in a really weird state of false starts and discontinuities and I'm not really sure why, but it's a pattern that - now that I think of it - has really been going on for the last few years, with a few exceptions. So ironic that after months of soul-searching about what I really want, I figure it out only to find out 12 hours later that I cannot have it, and I might never get the chance again. Sure, I'll meet other women. It's not like I live in an igloo on a remote Arctic island. But, you keep raising the bar and it keeps getting harder. For someone who likes control over shaping the present and future, at least for himself, I'm entering into a very difficult period, because right now I just have to wait and see. Everything is suspended midair and when and where it falls is not up to me. I just have to make sure I can be ready to react and try to catch it.